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We left St. Luke’s that day with renewed–though cautious–hope. Both of our doctors seemed extremely optimistic, so maybe we stood a chance after all?
We bought the pills, but of course we lapsed into old habits. We failed to buy new pills regularly. Oneal forgot to take them. I would forget to remind him. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Other women got pregnant. I got upset. We got depressed. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Perhaps the worst was when it was relatives who announced that they were pregnant. It was in November when my brother-in-law and his wife found out they were pregnant. Just after Christmas, my cousin and his wife announced they were pregnant too. We were incredibly happy for them, but we also knew that the close family relationship just meant more people would ask us, “Eh kayo?”
It didn’t help that 2015 was a struggle. Funding for my long-term project, MP-KNN, had finally run out, and I had to deal with a loss of identity. We had a few projects through Puzzled Owl, but I had no regular income. I was writing here and there, but writers in the Philippines don’t really earn much, and when you write, sometimes it feels like money is a paltry reward for the time and effort you put into a story.